(via democraticsenator)
(via jcwithsatan)
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(via meanplastic)
job interview
interviewer: why do you want a job at my bakery?
me: i dont know. i just really Knead the dough
interviewer: wow. ok. Listen , im only hiring you just so i can fire you
(via laughbitches)
youth dystopian novel protagonist: i guess you could say there’s a darkness in me. i’m not normal. never have been
barista at jamba juice: ma’am are you going to order anything
(via heart)
(via burgertv)
(via zackisontumblr)
(via damn-funny)
(via spongebobssquarepants)